My Life Without You

Having Arthur watching from the sidelines was a distraction that Alfred really did not want. It was so hard to keep his eyes off the older student and he kept messing up his plays. When practice ended, Scott came up to him and started lecturing him. Alfred sighed and listened to his coach, knowing that he should be paying attention, no matter what was happening on the sidelines.

When practise was over the players went to the showers so Arthur had to wait a little longer for Matthias. He looked around a bit and noticed his brother obviously lecturing Alfred. True, his performance hadn't been as good as usual but in his eyes it hadn't been that disastorous, Scott had a different opinion on that though. Arthur felt bad, somehow he was sure that it was his fault that Alfred hadn't concentrated well. He sighed and tried to not think about it. Hopefully Matthias would hurry up, he thought.

Alfred frowned, letting Scott chastise him as he tried to pay attention to what his coach was saying. But he just couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. He was sure that the older teen had been looking at him a few times during practice and he couldn't figure out why. Arthur wasn't here to see him practice anymore, he was here to see Matthias.

After about ten more minutes Matthias was finally done and came over to him. "Ready to go?" He asked and Arthur nodded. "Yes, let's go." He said and got up, looking over to Alfred one last time before finally going home.
In the meanwhile Scott noticed that Alfred constantly looked away from him and seemed to be rather absent with his thoughts. "Jones! Are you listening to me?! In case you haven't noticed, this is not funny. The next couple of matches are very important and if you're not willing to give it your all better say it now so that I can fill your position with someone who actually wants to play."

Alfred glanced up at Scott and sighed softly. "I know, sir... I'm sorry. I'll do better from now on. I swear!" He would just have to forget all about ARthur and try to ignore him whenever Arthur showed up for practice. "I'll do much better at the games, I promise!!"

Scott sighed and nodded. "Alright. But don't let the team down again. Practise is just as important as the games, you know that." He told him. "You can go now. See you tomorrow."

"I know that... I promise I'll do much better." Alfred forced a smile before heading toward the locker rooms to get changed. He just really hoped that he would be able to keep from getting distracted.

"Good. I'll take that for granted then." Scott said and went home as well. The next couple of days were very busy, not just for the team but also for Arthur and the student council. They had to prepare a lot of things for an upcoming party at the school so Arthur rarely found the time to watch Matthias practice. He wasn't exactly sad about this though. Ever since he watched for the first time he couldn't stop thinking about Alfred and the feeling that ran through his body when their eyes had met. Was it a mistake to let him go, Arthur wondered but tried to forget about it.

Alfred spent his days focusing on school and football. It was all he did and all he thought about. So when the weekend arrived, he was glad for the break. Especially because it meant that he would be able to see Ivan again. The two of them had kept in touch through text messages but it just wasn't the same as seeing each other face to face.

Ivan was quite excited. He'd been texting with Alfred the whole week and now they would finally be able to see each other again. Ivan had been invited to the upcoming football match and he would definetely not miss that chance. He went to the field a bit early in hope he could talk with Alfred a little before the game.

In Arthur's opinion, saturday arrived way too fast. He knew it would disappoint Matthias greatly if he didn't go to see him play but he also knew that Alfred would be there and that made him really uncomfortable. In the end, of course, he decided to go but he deliberately took longer than neccessary so that he would arrive at the match just on time and not a minute earlier.

Alfred really hoped that Ivan would be able to make it to his game. He wanted to be able to see his boyfriend again. Hopefully they would be able to spend more time together once this game was over, because then Alfred would have more time.

By this time, Alfred had forgotten about Arthur being at practice that one day, so he wasn't worried about whether or not Arthur would be at the game.

When the game began and the players entered the field Ivan was already sitting somewhere in the first row. He waved happily at Alfred and cheered on the team with the other fans from their school.

Arthur had been late, just as planned, and seated himself somewhere in the back so that he could overlook the field but wouldn't be spotted immediately. He'd told Matthias in advance not to search for him in the crowd but to concentrate on the game and that they would meet later.

Alfred waved to Ivan before focusing entirely on the game. He wanted so badly to win and prove himself to his coach that the last practice had just been a fluke. That he was completely focused on the sport and nothing else.

Arthur watched the game with interest, it was a thrilling match and he wanted their school's team to win. Alfred as well as Matthias both were extremely motivated and eager to show what they could. Arthur was glad that Matthias didn't know that Alfred had been his boyfriend before so there was no room for tension, at least from his side.
Both teens were excelent players and worked together nicely, leading their team to victory. The atmosphere around the feeld was great and everyone cheered loudly.

Alfred had to admit to himself that Matthias was a good player. Without him, their team probably wouldn't have been able to win so easily. It was because of this that he decided not to tell Matthias about his prior relationship with Arthur. That would just make matters worse.

Soon the game was over and their school's team had won. Scott conratulated his team to the victory, especially Alfred and Matthias. "You two did extremely well. I'm very proud of you. You're a great team. Keep that up." He said and then sent them to the showers. Arthur went down to the field to wait for Matthias.

Ivan was very happy to see that Alfred had won the game and went down as well to wait for him. He wanted to congratulate him and maybe invite him to lunch or maybe a night out.

Alfred was glad to be praised. He had struggled at that one practice and he didn't want that to happen again, so he was glad that Scott was proud of him. After his shower, he came back to the field and hurried over to Ivan.

When Alfred came back to the field again, Ivan was already waiting for him. "Hey, you were awesome." He grinned happily. "Congrats on winning the game." The older teen said and hugged him in what he hoped was a friendly manner. He knew that it wouldn't be that good if Alfred's teammates or the kids at his school got to know that he was gay and had a boyfriend. "What do you think of grabbing something to eat? My treat."

It took quite a while until Matthias was done with his shower so Arthur spent a some time talking with his brother and then just looked around for a bit. His eyes fell on a tall boy around his own age he didn't know. He was about to turn his gaze away when Alfred came out of the cabins and went straight to that boy, whom happily hugged him. Arthur looked at them closer and a new thought came to him. Maybe Alfred had long moved on and found someone else, someone who gave him what he wanted. For some reason that thought pained him and he had to look away to make himself stop thinking about it.

Alfred returned Ivan's friendly hug before pulling back and smiling at the taller teen. "Sure! I'm starving right now! I think I could probably eat a horse!" He laughed and resisted the urge to hug Ivan again. It wouldn't do either of them any good to have rumors flying around that they were together. He glanced around to make sure no one saw them and his eyes landed on Arthur. Frowning, he quickly turned away, not wanting to attract the attention of the other blond teenager.

"Great, let's go and get something then." Ivan beamed. "I'd preffer a burger over horse meet though if you don't mind." He laughed and followed Alfred's gaze. Ivan didn't know Arthur well, only that he was the students council president. Alfred, on the other hand, seemed to know him better. That's what he thought at least. "Want to go?" Ivan asked to turn Alfred's attention back to him.

Alfred was thankful when Ivan took his attention away from Arthur. "Yeah, I'm ready." He forced a smile before heading off the field, hoping that Ivan wouldn't ask any question about Arthur. That was one topic he really didn't want to get into right now.

Ivan didn't know that Arthur was a touchy subject for Alfred so he asked him on their way to the resturant. "That blond guy next to your coach, the student council president, do you know him?" He wanted to know.

"There you are. What took you so long?" Arthur asked when Matthias finally came out of the showers. "Congratulations by the way. You were fantastic."

"Um... yeah. He's actually my ex..." Alfred sighed, hoping that Arthur was at least happy being back with his old boyfriend.

Matthias grinned at Arthur and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks! I'm just glad that you came to the game."

"Oh...I'm sorry. Didn't mean to remind you of that." Ivan said, feeling guilty. It was quiet between them for a moment and he thought about what he could do to lift Alfred's mood. "You and that other guy from your team played really good. You're a great team you and him. It almost felt as if you were playing together for all your lives. Is he a good friend of yours?"

"I promised to, didn't I?" Arthur mumbled a bit shyly but smiled. "Scott told me that he's going out with some of the team to celebrate your victory. Want to tag along? Or would you rather do something alone with me?" He asked.

"It's alright..." Alfred shrugged it off and kept walking next to Ivan. Once they got away from the school, he took Ivan's hand in his own, smiling a little bit. "Who? Matthias? Well, we used to play together back in middle school, so that's probably why we worked so well together."

Matthias smiled at Arthur for a minute before shrugging. "It's up to you, Arthur. Would you rather spend time alone together?"