We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Tue Apr 10, 2012 3:03 pm

He had no idea how he managed it, but somehow he made it back to the Dramatic Exit. With Gilbert’s parting advice and Arthur’s constant whining/cursing in his ear, he never thought he would see the sweet sanctuary of home again. As he reached the threshold into the ship, he took one last glance up at the navy blue sky and sighed. “Thank the stars…” Now all there was left to do was drop Arthur off in his bedroom, make sure he wouldn’t throw up or something, and he would be free to crash for the night. Oh man, Alfred couldn’t wait.

But, of course, things could never go the way Alfred wanted them too. Just as he had sat Arthur down on his bed, the intoxicated man decided now would be a brilliant time to charm the engineer into his bed. Alfred, however, did not have any knowledge of this and went about adjusting the pillows and sheets as if nothing was wrong. How blissful ignorance was. “There you go Arthur, nice and cozy. Do you want me to help you -- ah!” A pair of hands had found their away around his hips and were currently kneading his round backside without a care in the world. Alfred’s cheeks burned in realization. Arthur Kirkland, the grumpy pirate captain, was shamelessly groping his ass and saying… Holy fuck, he wanted to fuck! As in, sex! As in ‘hey, let’s get naked and rub against each other’ and holy hell this was really happening!

“Listen Arthur. I really do like you and all, but I don’t think now is the time for mmmph.” Arthur’s lips tasted of beer and sweat, and while they were usually a warm welcome after a long day, but right now it felt wrong. He cared for Arthur, truly he did, but this was a step he was not ready to take when Arthur was out of his mind like this. Another time, another place maybe, but this wasn’t right. “Arthur,” He pulled back, holding the pirates hands to keep them from wandering. “I think it’s better if you sleep this off. We’ll talk in the morning, alright?” He began pushing Arthur down on the bed, pulling the blankets over him to tuck him in. There, that should be enough to deter him, just like last time. “Nighty night Arthur. Sleep tight.”

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Mon May 14, 2012 6:28 am

While the promise of sleep had deterred him last time, Arthur was not so easy to distract this time. He wiggled his hands from the engineer's grip and they returned to their rightful place on Alfred's backside. "Let's have a nice shag, darling," Arthur purred into his ear. Unfortunately for the other man, the pirate's breath reeked of alcohol. Arthur was certainly going to have a bad hangover in the morning. Arthur felt up Alfred's backside for a while, trying to steal kisses from the other man's lips as he did so.

Not finding the success he wanted, Arthur knew he had to change strategies. It was such a surprise! Normally, he considered himself an irresistible love machine (okay, so perhaps that was a drunken exaggeration- sober, Arthur wasn't quite that confident in his charms). And Alfred was soft on him! So this should have worked how his drunken mind had pictured: Arthur using a wonderful romantic line, then Alfred flinging himself into his arms. Arthur would carry them to bed and clothes would be flung off as the kisses grew more heated and- wait, Arthur still had seducing to do. He couldn't just go off into a fantasy and forget about the real thing, now could he?

"Who needs sleep when we can shag?" Arthur slurred. Damn, he had some good pickup lines. He tried not to smirk smugly when he realized how sexy and irresistible he must seem. The drunk man tried to explore more of Alfred's skin with his hands. Unfortunately, Arthur's coordination was not anything near what it was when he was sober. He tried to shift things so that he was perched on the engineer's lap. The pirate ended up tumbling off the bed in the awkward and drunken attempt. He was fine! It was a simple nervous mistake, he told himself. When he got up, he went right back to trying to seduce poor sober Alfred.

"Come now, luv, I know you want me."

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Mon May 14, 2012 5:01 pm

Alfred had expected that once he tugged the blankets over Arthur and finished lightly chastised him for ignoring his sleep, that would be the end of it. He had not been prepared for the pirate to wiggle out of his grip and go back to happily feeling up his ass as if he was entitled to the privilege. “Arthur this is not--” The stench of the inebriated captain’s breath took him aback. Ugh, his breath reeked. And even worse, the pirated had focused his attention back on pressing sloppy kisses against his lips. He loved Arthur’s kisses, really he did, but not tainted with alcohol and misguided lust. Not only did he feel sexually violated (that seemed to happen a lot whenever the grumpy pirate got a hold of rum), but he felt as if by allowing this to happen, they would both betraying part of themselves. He cared for Arthur, really and truly he did, and maybe one day, they would take this step in their relationship, but this was not right.

The young engineer tuned back into reality about the same time Arthur had regained what little sense he still possessed. The pirates lips upturned into a goofy looking grin and when he tried to climb onto Alfred’s lap, he managed to fall spectacularly off the bed. Before Alfred could offer any help, Arthur was back on his feet and resuming his mission to seduce the pants off his virgin boyfriend. Alfred had a feeling that no amount of coaxing was going to get Arthur to give up this insanity and go to bed. This left him with two options. He could leave Arthur to his own devices and risk him wandering around and possibly getting himself killed (or worse, have him end up in somebody’s bed), or…

Alfred grinned and leaned forward, catching Arthur’s lips in a sweet kiss. “You’re right… how you manage to see through me every time, I will never know.” He slid his arms around Arthur’s lithe frame to pull him closer. The engineer stole another, longer kiss from his pirate captain as he maneuvered them to lay more comfortably on the bed. Alfred pressed heated kisses all along Arthur’s neck as his fingertips side up and down his sides. “Mm… you are so sexy right now Arthur… but you know what would be even sexier?” He doesn’t give Arthur a chance to respond before he slides down his body. Alfred stops just when he reaches the beginning of Arthur’s hipbone. “Hmm? Have you figured it out yet?” There was a tiny bit of skin showing between where the shirt ended and his trousers began and Alfred took full advantage of this and lightly nipped at the pale skin. “I’m talking about bondage. Tying each other up and ravishing the other.” He flicked his tongue over the curve of his hipbone. “Sounds good, huh? Got any ties or anything Arthur? I would be happy to get them for us…”

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Tue May 22, 2012 3:59 pm

Arthur was pleased to find that his brilliant seduction had worked. He wondered how irresistible he'd be when he was sober. Oh there were so many things he could do- Arthur's train of thought fizzled away as Alfred gave him another kiss and pulled the pirate closer. Was Arthur in heaven? It certainly felt like it. The pirate captain moaned softly, enjoying Alfred exploring his body. Why did the boy put up so much of a fuss beforehand? They were both going to enjoy this so much.

When the engineer mentioned bondage, Arthur felt his cock harden a bit. The thought of making love to a tied up Alfred who was moaning Arthur's name and affectionate phrases was simply lovely. Though, Arthur was equally enticed by the thought of Alfred being the one in control. Oh but there would certainly be time for both, if not today, then in the near future. Arthur wanted Alfred, plain and simple.

"There's a box at the bottom of the closet, on the left, darling," the drunken man tried to purr, but it simply came out as slurred. His come hither look was about as sexy as a turnip- that is, the pirate was not at his most seductive when he was inebriated. It was safe to say that Arthur was as drunk (and perhaps as charming) as a skunk.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Wed May 23, 2012 3:30 pm

“Ah~” Alfred exhaled softly in response, pressing his lips again to Arthur’s sharp hipbone. “Be back in a moment sweetheart.” With a naughty wink which would have usually brought a heavy blush to the inexperienced man’s face, he was off. The box on the bottom left of the closet… box on the bottom left. Ah hah! There it was! He crouched down and pulled the unassuming box free and eagerly popped open the lid. What he had been expecting, he couldn’t really say -- old neckties or shirts that wouldn’t rub Arthur’s wrists raw. Maybe even a couple of silk ribbons leftover from some of the pirate captain’s more adventurous bedtime excursions. He knew without being told that the other man was a bit of a pervert, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he even owned a few sex toys. But what he found inside that box was certainly not what he had anticipated.

It was filled with sex toys. No, not just filled, packed to the brim. There were dildos, vibrators, flavored lube, chains, whips, beads, and holy fuck who’s thongs were these?! Alfred stared open mouthed at the treasure chest before him. Arthur was more then just a pervert, he was a borderline sex fiend! “Uh ah… I’ll just… grab some…” What was he supposed to say in this situation? Even more then that, what the hell was he supposed to pick?! Fuzzy handcuffs were just, ugh no, chains would probably chafe, and he wasn’t entirely sure if those beads were meant to be used as ties. Arthur must have something else that could be used -- the only problem was finding it. Oh damn… he was going to have to touch stuff, wasn’t he? It would do no good backing out now. If Arthur came over and picked through the box himself, who knows what kind of things he would decide to grab! Just the thought of what kind of terrors that would bring was enough to reinforce what Alfred already knew.

Alfred swallowed thickly, prayed to the stars for strength, and stuck his hand inside the box. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, why is there something squishy in here?! He tried to ignore the fact that this experience was more then likely going to scar him for the rest of his days and focus on the task at hand. Thankfully, feeling for silk ties was relatively easy given the fact that its neighbors were mostly made from plastic. Alfred yanked them out of the box, checked them over to see that they would work, and shoved Arthur’s box of sin back into the closet. “Found them~” The young engineer crossed back over to his captain, holding the silk ties with an eager grin. “So… will you hold your arms up for me Arthur? I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:58 pm

"Gentle? I don't mind being a bit rough," Arthur purred, lifting his arms above his head. Of course, the real challenge was keeping them there. Arthur wanted to feel Alfred's skin, and pull him close. Then again, Arthur's limbs were just a bit wobbly thanks to all of the alcohol he managed to imbibe during their brief (and rather humiliating) stay at the bar. Needless to say, it was probably going to be a challenge for the engineer to properly tie Arthur's arms over his head. But, if he did manage, Arthur wouldn't be able to untie them on his own. If he had been sober and stubborn enough to want off the bed, he would be able to slip out of the ties.

The grumpy pirate tried to steal another kiss from the engineers lips. "Come on, luv. Hurry it up so we can get busy," Arthur slurred in Alfred's ear. Perhaps it would've been a bit more alluring if his breath didn't reek of alcohol. "If you're quick enough, maybe we'll squeeze in a few rounds. We could do it all night long, sweetheart," he continued to speak.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Fri Jul 13, 2012 2:46 pm

Arthur really was determined to make this as awkward as possible, wasn’t he? The young engineer tried his best not to let the embarrassment read on his face, but he was only mildly successful. The last thing he needed was Arthur putting the pieces together and working out his master plan before he had a chance to see it through. Well, to be totally honest, he probably didn’t have to worry too much considering the pirate captain was far too drunk for any kind of complex thought. Or at least, he hoped the combination of sex and alcohol would distract him from ever making the attempt.

“You like it rough, huh?” He said, pulling off a surprisingly convincing grin as he fingered the silk ties. Oh finally. Alfred’s gaze focused in on Arthur’s arms settling in above his head. Now came the dangerous part. The second he moved in close enough to put the ties on, Arthur could react and start feeling him up, or worse, start trying to undress him again -- Alfred suppressed a shiver at the thought of him actually succeeding. But the risk couldn’t exactly be avoided if he wanted this to work. So, Alfred steeled himself and crawled on top of the inebriated man. “I’m here now,” He whispered in between kisses. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to go a few rounds. The night is young.” Did that sound even remotely sexy? Alfred didn’t have any idea, but he hoped it was at least acceptable. He needed to keep this charade up long enough to get the drunken pirate restrained.

Alfred wrapped a hand around both of Arthur’s wrists, keeping a firm but gentle grip on them. He somehow managed to slide the fabric around his wrists, tightening them just enough to keep him from slipping away too easily. He looped the fabric around the bed frame and lightly tested its strength. Once he was sure it would hold, Alfred rolled off of Arthur before he began grinding his hips up against his backside -- things were already to going to be awkward enough in the morning without adding that on top of everything. Speaking of awkward...

“It’s time to go to sleep Artie.” He was already halfway done with removing Arthur’s boot and prosthetic, maneuvering his body into a more comfortable position. Thankfully, he had the foresight to place the pirate on his side so that if he were to throw up sometime during the night, he wouldn’t choke to death. Now if he was only could find a way to keep Artie from throwing a fit about not getting laid, everything would be perfect. “We’ll talk about this in the morning okay?” With that said, Alfred pressed a chaste kiss against his lips and settled into the covers beside him. Fuck, he was never, ever going to let Arthur drink again.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Sat Jul 21, 2012 8:13 pm

"Sleep? But you said we were going to fuck," Arthur briefly forgot about the silk ties and tried to grab for Alfred, but ended up ineffectively jerking them as the ties held fast. The pirate gave a few more tugs before giving up on freeing himself. "So that's why you wanted to tie me up... You used me! I guess you don't even want to have sex with me," Arthur mumbled miserably. When not horny, the man was a miserable drunk. It was a surprise that more people hadn't banded together to prevent him from drinking.

"I can't believe you lied to me! Considering how you behaved when we first met, I'm not surprised! I should have expected as much from a stuck up lawman. A sudden change in your behavior was too good to be true," Arthur whined loudly. He tried to maneuver his body so that he was facing away without hurting his arms. Nope, he wasn't crying. Absolutely not. That was a ridiculous assert- oh who was he kidding? He was crying. "You could have had the decency to reject me!" the pirate captain managed to slur out between sobs.

Arthur was certainly in quite the state. The normally calm and capable pirate was nothing more than a blubbering fool when there was alcohol in his system. If he had been sober, it would've been easy to undo the silk ties and realize that his boyfriend was simply trying not to take advantage of him. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:48 am

This was exactly what he had been afraid of. “No Arthur, it isn’t like that at all,” He tried to reassure, hating how quickly the pirate’s mood went from excited to depressed in a matter of seconds. If he only he had come up with a better way to tell Arthur the truth, he wouldn’t have caused him so much pain. Hell, if he had stopped him from chugging that beer, they wouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place. “It’s not that I don’t want to do it... Really, it’s not.” What could he say that would make this better? Arthur was far too drunk to comprehend much, but Alfred couldn’t, in good conscience, leave his feelings unexplained -- no matter how inopportune the timing was. Alfred steeled himself against the insults flying his way and scooted closer to the captain.

“I want to be with you Arthur. This isn’t a rejection of any kind.” He whispered softly, sliding both arms around his thin waist. “It’s just that... well, when we decide to take our relationship further and have sex,” He couldn’t deny the flush that colored his cheeks at the very mention of it. “I want us to both to talk and to feel comfortable with one another -- I want it to be as special as you deserve.” He sounded like such a sap, but he willed himself to continue. Even if the other man didn’t remember what he said the next morning, he wanted him to understand where he was coming from right now. “You’re drunk Arthur and I don’t want our first time to be spent when you are unable to remember it. And, I have a feeling you wouldn’t want that either.”

Alfred kept his hold around Arthur, gently running his palm up and down the side of his arm in comfort. “I’m sorry... tying you up was stupid, I see that now.” The engineer reached up as he spoke, carefully loosening the bonds so his wrists feel freely onto the bed. “I should have just told you how I felt from the beginning. I didn’t mean to hurt you... I would never want to do that Arthur.” He hugged him close, nuzzling his face into the back of the older man’s shoulder apologetically. “Sorry... I’m so sorry.”

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Wed Aug 15, 2012 5:52 pm

Arthur hiccuped miserably as he was untied and dragged closer to Alfred. It was hard for him to pay much attention to what his boyfriend (of sorts) was saying. His head was so foggy from both exhaustion and drink. Yet, Arthur wasn't a complete fool; he could at least tell that the engineer was trying his best to soothe him. Did Alfred truly care? Arthur wasn't completely convinced. However, Arthur wasn't motivated enough to even attempt to escape the warm and strong arms that were now wrapped around him. Despite his misgivings, Arthur felt a lot less lonely than he had in a long time.

The appeal of sleep was soon becoming too much. He tried to mumble some grumpy protests, but ended up just nuzzling into Alfred's hugs and promptly proceeding to lose consciousness. Unfortunately for the other man, this meant an amount of drool and the pleasant sounds of snoring. Not that this was a total deviation from how the pirate captain normally slept. Well, perhaps it was a deeper, more solid sleep than his usual light sleep. Often, his usual sleep ended with him waking up as a result of small disturbances.

Arthur awoke in the morning with a severe headache, a bad taste in his mouth, and a distinct hatred for both himself and the existence of alcohol. The proceedings of the night before were quite fuzzy, but Arthur could already sense that he'd regret it. It wasn't much of a surprise on that front. He could probably count the times he didn't regret getting drunk like that on one hand. He wasn't completely sure why he kept doing it. At the very least, he had a familiar pair of arms around him that didn't happen to be a certain rowdy albino's or a certain lecherous Frenchman's. Arthur counted that as quite the blessing. Nevertheless, he needed to get out of bed and perhaps find a good cuppa or at least something to help ease this damned hangover.

Arthur tried to ease out of bed while not disturbing Alfred.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:18 pm

To Alfred’s credit, he was sincerely trying to help the drunken pirate. With his gentle apologizes and hands running up and down Arthur’s arms, he was hoping to soothe the other man to sleep. Thankfully, he didn’t have long to wait. Arthur made a few protests, but ended up snuggling closer and drifting off easily. Alfred breathed a sigh of relief. Tomorrow morning was bound to be interesting with Arthur suffering from yet another hangover along with finding Alfred in bed with him. Perhaps it was time he addressed the whole ‘when you’re drunk, you seem to really want to get into my pants’ thing. He didn’t want to think about how awkward that conversation was going to be. But, Alfred decided not to worry about it now. He had spent the last twenty-four hours awake thanks to a number of odd circumstances and he was more than ready to get a little shut-eye. Alfred pressed one last kiss against Arthur’s forehead, tucked him under his chin, and promptly fell into a slumber so deep, not even the pirate’s drunken snoring could stir him.

When he became aware of himself again, he could feel the small movements of the bed shifting beneath him. He wanted to moan, roll over, and ignore his bedmate (whoever it was), but his mind wouldn’t let him drift off again. He groaned in displeasure, but sat up and looked around in bleary-eyed confusion. This wasn’t his room. Then he caught sight of Arthur and the events of the previous day came rushing back. Oh right, now he remembered. “Mornin’ Arthur.” He yawned and tried to tame his bedhead. “How’s the headache? You drank a lot last night.” As Arthur’s significant other of sorts, was he at liberty to ask the captain not to drink so much? He wasn’t entirely sure. In any event, that was another conversation for another time. Namely, when he was coherent enough to come up with a reasonable argument.

Alfred let his body fall back against the pillows, far too exhausted to stay upright when he could relax a few minutes longer. “We didn’t have sex or nothing, scouts honor,” He said, deciding to clear that up right away. He wasn’t sure if he should mention the whole almost being molested thing, or save it for another time. What was appropriate to say to your hungover boyfriend? Ugh, thinking this much in the early morning was starting to make his head hurt.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:24 am

When the other man spoke, pain erupted in Arthur's head (not that there hadn't been a dull pain there to begin with). He groaned. "For fuck's sake Alfred, don't talk so damn loudly," Arthur grumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and wished he could just curl up in the blankets and die for a while- well, until the blasted hangover went away. The pirate briefly reflected on the merits of being able to temporarily remove the offending body part so he could go on with his business and not feel so terrible. However, cutting off one's head was often a fatal procedure, so it wasn't a terribly brilliant option. Arthur swore under his breath and hoped that a good cup of tea would at least wake him up a bit and distract him from the headache. Tea did seem to be quite useful, and Arthur unsurprisingly never went a day without it.

"No sex? I... ah... Thank you," Arthur was taken aback by Alfred's statement. If he did wake up next to someone, nine times out of ten (if not more) there had been drunken activities the previous night. Arthur couldn't quite tell if he was flattered that Alfred hadn't taken advantage of him (he was) or that perhaps the case was that Alfred, in fact, didn't want to have sex with him at all. Nevertheless, the unappetizing feeling of thinking with a hangover prevented Arthur from further delving into the matter (and his own insecurities. He'd simply have a chat with Alfred once he was feeling better or more likely ignore the issue unless his significant other decided to bring it up again. Arthur rubbed his temples, trying to ease at least some of the pain.

The lure of tea was much greater than the warmth and comfort of simply settling back into bed and ensconcing himself into the blankets, though the latter option was certainly tempting. Arthur groggily reached for his prosthetic leg and attempted to attach it. It took a while, since he was hung over and half asleep. But the promise of tea was more than enough to make him persevere. "M'gonna get tea. Don't do anything stupid," he grumbled. Arthur stretched and changed into something a bit more decent before hobbling out of the room.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Sat Sep 22, 2012 5:52 pm

Well, Alfred hadn’t really expected that to have gone better. He watched Arthur stumble out of the room, half wondering if he should follow to make sure he didn’t fall over or something. But, he dismissed that thought almost as soon as it entered his mind. He had a feeling that the pirate had spent many a morning grumpy, hungover, and in search of tea, so he probably had the routine down pat. Besides, he was far too cozy to get up just yet and Arthur had given him explicit instructions not to do anything stupid. The engineer rolled over and grabbed Arthur’s pillow, tucking it under his chin to act as a replacement cuddle buddy. He was just about to drift off when a sudden thought struck him.

Oh right, the instructions from Gilbert. He kind of doubted that Arthur would be in any mood to look them over, but he didn’t want to invite his temper for withholding them. With a groan, Alfred hoisted himself back up and sleepily searched his person for the paper. He found it still tucked under his belt, a little crumpled from spending the night there, but otherwise undamaged (thank the stars for that). He flattened it out a little and reached over to set it on the bedside table for Arthur to review later. Feeling accomplished and more than a little drowsy, Alfred flopped back onto the bed.

“Mmm....” The pillows and sheets smelled so nice, kinda like that tea Arthur was always drinking. Maybe he would have to give it another try, the scent was strangely comforting.... Warm and comfortable and.... Alfred could no longer form another coherent thought. Within a few moments, he fell back asleep, body curled around Arthur’s pillow.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:45 am

Arthur hobbled his way to the kitchen and took his time making tea. When that was done, he settled down on a chair and slowly sipped it. If any crew member tried to interrupt the pirate captain's peaceful tea time, they were rewarded with a stink eye from Arthur. Needless to say, on days like these, the galley of the ship was generally off limits until Arthur puttered back into his cabin before finally emerging to begin business as usual. Alone in the kitchen, Arthur muttered about how he despised hangovers and that he simply should avoid drinking so much in the future. This was a promise he often made, but never kept. Luckily enough, the tea did ease some of his symptoms and left him noticeably less groggy and grumpy.

Arthur gave the kitchen another glance. If Alfred was sleeping in bed... he'd probably be hungry by now. Rather than let the engineer whine about it, Arthur decided to be proactive (and well, bend the rules of his ship just a bit). He set his tea cup down and set to work.

Four fire alarms, two fire extinguishers, and a bucket of water later, Arthur was stepping into his cabin with a plate of so-called breakfast on his tray. Arthur saw a nice bit of egg in the basket with half of a grapefruit, some bacon, and a hearty glass of orange juice. Anyone else, on the other hand, would see a blackened piece of toast with burnt egg strewn on it haphazardly, an odd hemisphere of burnt foodstuffs, a few strips of bacon with both the texture and color of charcoal, and finally a glass of orangey-yellow liquid with little flecks of burnt food suspended in it as well as a garnish of parsley on the top. Arthur seemed pleased as punch by this latest foray into the culinary world. Francis and the rest of the crew, on the other hand, seemed less than pleased about the damage done to their kitchen.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:17 am

How Alfred had managed to sleep through ‘The Great Kitchen Crisis’ would forever remain a mystery. But as he awoke to the slight scuffle of Arthur’s boot and prosthetic, he smiled sleepily and rolled over to greet his boyfriend. “Hello again,” He yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Arthur must have been gone longer than he had expected, his body felt well rested and ready for the day. Or at least it would once he had a little breakfast. Ah well, he expected that Lovino probably had some leftovers downstairs he could snag before setting off to work again. Alfred sat up, stuffing the pillows behind him so he could still lounge comfortably until he felt up to standing. “So are ya feeling better now? I hope the headache has died down a bit.” Poor Artie. Perhaps he really should ask that he cut back on the drinking. He was his boyfriend after all, wasn’t he entitled to voice his opinions?

Alfred looked back over at the pirate captain, finally catching sight of the tray he held. He immediately perked up and a bright smile tugged at his lips. No, he couldn’t possibly have... but that was too adorable! He had actually brought him breakfast in bed? Alfred wanted to squeal over the cuteness, but restrained himself at the last second. The last thing he wanted was for Arthur to get all huffy and walk out or something. “What’s that you got there Arthur? Did you bring lil ol’ me something?” Of course from this angle, he had no idea that the meal he was about to be presented was hardly what one would call appetizing, but for the moment he couldn’t be more excited. To have Arthur bring him breakfast was so undeniably sweet, it touched his heart and made his stomach flutter with pleasure. Perhaps the hard part was over! Perhaps their relationship really was growing into something special! Alfred beamed at the thought.

“Well? Do I get a good morning kiss or not?” He teased lightly, scooting closer to Arthur as he did so.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:57 am

Arthur grumbled and groused in response to Alfred's cheery tidings. While not surprising, it was certainly a wonder how the engineer was able to keep so cheery in the mornings. For Arthur, mornings were a time for sleep and extra grumpiness (if that were possible). "M' perfectly fine," he grumbled in response to Alfred's questions after his wellbeing. The headache had died down a bit, thankfully, and Arthur was used to waking up with a raging hangover. He did think that Alfred was much too talkative in this situation, well to be frank, he thought the other man was much too talkative in most situations.

He unceremoniously plopped the horrifying breakfast on his boyfriend's lap. Despite the lackluster presentation, Arthur would be highly offended if Alfred didn't clean his plate. He had worked very hard to make this meal, and so the engineer was therefore obligated to eat every last bite. The pissy pirate tried to express all this responsibility in a glare directed towards Alfred. The results were questionable at best. He then grudgingly kissed Alfred's forehead before waiting to see his boyfriend's response to his meal. Arthur considered himself a brilliant chef of the highest class- everyone else, on the other hand, would beg to differ.

"Well then, what are you waiting for? Eat up," he ordered Alfred to dig in to his meal. The rest of the crew felt a great deal of pity for the young engineer, but there was simply no saving him now.

Lord Arthur Kirkland

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:42 am

Alfred had heard rumors of the captain's culinary disasters. Francis and the angry Italian cook shivered in fear whenever the topic was brought up and other crew mates would cringe and hastily talk about something else. He never understood why everyone was weird about Arthur's cooking. He believed that it was pretty dang gross if a policy was put in place to ban him from the kitchen, but he never understood the full extent of the horror. At least, not until now.

The young engineer stared down at the plate, barely registering the kiss he received. What the hell was this supposed to be? Lovino couldn't have prepared this. As bitchy as he acted sometimes, the cook did his job exceedingly well. Alfred felt his stomach suddenly twist into uncomfortable knots as the horrible realization dawned on him. Lovino hadn't made this at all -- Arthur had. Arthur, his pissy, hungover boyfriend had made breakfast for him and worse, he expected him to eat it. Shit.

The way Alfred saw it, he had two options. He could either refuse the meal and spend the rest of eternity on Arthur's bad side (and undoubtedly lose out on ever getting kissed again), or he could eat it and make Arthur happy while suffering through the stomachache. He inwardly groaned when he realized he had no choice. Arthur was his boyfriend and if he made him breakfast, he should have the decency to eat it no matter what it tasted like. Alfred allowed himself one last deep breath before his imminent doom, took hold of the fork and dove in. Whatever Arthur had intended to create, the meal tasted like an odd combination of charcoal and rubber -- and it was every bit as horrendous as Francis had always said. Alfred managed not to gag as he shoved the food down at an incredible speed. The faster he ate, he reminded himself, the faster it would be over. When there were only scraps left over, he grabbed the glass of juice (ignoring the burnt garnish) and chugged it. His stomach churned unpleasantly, but he was done. And better yet, he had managed to keep it down.

"D-Delicious!" He gasped, shoving the empty tray away. "That really hit the spot!" Oh man, he was totally going to be sick. Quick, distraction! He needed a distraction! "Ah, here!" He shoved Gilbert's letter of instructions at the pirate before jumping out of bed. "Read that and I'll be right back! I gotta go to the bathroom!" Alfred didn't wait for a response. He all but sprinted out of the captain's quarters towards the nearest bathroom.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Lord Arthur Kirkland on Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:47 pm

Arthur felt pride well up in his chest when Alfred vacuumed down his food. His boyfriend didn't just like his food. From the way he devoured it, Arthur could just tell that Alfred adored it and couldn't eat it fast enough! Arthur decided that he'd try to cook for Alfred more often, as a special treat to his boyfriend. If Alfred liked the food, then Arthur would have a great excuse to work in the kitchen more. Take that Lovino and Francis! Arthur could cook, and he had a boyfriend that liked it!

He hummed as he glanced through the letter. Alfred was fine, he was simply visiting the bathroom. It was definitely a common enough event whenever Arthur's food was brought near anyone, so Arthur didn't think anything of the suddenness of this trip, nor the length of Alfred's stay in the bathroom. So Gilbert wanted them to run some guns through the Scarex sector. Nothing out of the ordinary, he mused. There were some specificities as to where and when they'd arrive, but it really all seemed doable. Plus, Arthur had already accepted the job.

He'd run the plan by the key members of his crew once Arthur felt like getting to work. But, the pirate captain wanted more snuggle time with his boyfriend. So, they could wait a bit.

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Re: We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land. [Kirk + Sheriff]

Post by Sheriff Jones on Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:33 am

Alfred felt significantly better after having puked his guts out in the bathroom down the hall. Thank the stars he had a strong stomach, otherwise he was certain that Arthur's toxic cooking would have been the end for him. Ol' Franny and the others had certainly not exaggerated in their stories about the captain's cooking 'abilities'. And now that he had experienced the horrors firsthand, he would join the cause to keep Arthur from ever entering the kitchen again. No beast in the galaxy deserved to suffer a fate so bleak as that.

The engineer was, of course, unaware that he had already lost that battle as he made his way back down the hall. However, he did become suddenly aware of another, more pressing issue that needed to be addressed. This was the second night that Arthur had gotten shitfaced and tried to sex him up. And while he understand that sometimes it was difficult to resist his smokin' bod, he was embarrassed by how er... eager Arthur had seemed to get into his pants. Although they were, by all accounts, 'together', Alfred still wasn't at all comfortable bringing up the topic of sex on his own. It wasn't that he was saving himself for any special reason. In fact, he secretly liked the idea of experiencing it for the first time with Arthur. The only thing that really bothered him was the alcohol thing. Arthur, he liked. Piss drunk Arthur, eh, not so much. But even with his boyfriend status, he wasn't sure if that gave him the right to talk it over with Arthur. The last thing he wanted to do was make the pirate captain uncomfortable.

Alfred pushed open the door and stepped inside, head spinning and face still a bit green from his disastrous breakfast. Still, he smiled when he saw Arthur and happily sat down on the bed beside him. He peeks over his shoulder at the message Gilbert gave them, but can only make out the simple words. Despite this, he sounded them out quietly to practice before looking up at Arthur to fill him in on the rest. Whatever the weird mercenary wanted, he was was sure to be clued in on it eventually.

As he snuggled against Arthur, he caught sight of the silk ties he had used the previous night. His cheeks flushed a little and he quickly looked away, hoping that Arthur didn't notice (or remember) the awkwardness of last night. Still, it reminded him of what he had been wrestling with earlier. "Last night was kinda crazy, wasn't it Artie?" He said with an awkward laugh, trying desperately to avoid the other's gaze. God he hoped he didn't remember the dirty details. Or maybe it would be better if he did remember? It would save him the embarrassment of having to explain further? Gah this was all too complicated!

"Like with all that weird albino dude and the booze and the fact that you really want a piece of this when you're drunk." Er, he didn't mean to blurt that out. Fuck. "I mean er... you just seem like... super touchy when you're drunk. Not touchy as in pissy! I mean like you 'wanna get naked and rub against me' touchy! Er that isn't what I... it isn't bad that you're like that or nothing! I mean, I like you a lot Arthur and I wouldn't mind if we like did it. I just don't want it to be when you're drunk is all. Yeah..."

So that wasn't what he intended to say at all. Well, at least it was out in the open now. He just hoped Arthur wouldn't be too pissed with him and his big mouth.

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