Re: The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:34 pm

What was he like?

How must people court each other? xD

Alfred was... indescribable. One may think it is a given, seeing as he and I were from such different backgrounds, but he truly is indefinable. To speak with him is to know him; to hear him described is doing him an injustice.

What I can tell you is that our courtship was an odd one. Coming from different peoples, we had no set of rules to follow, so we simply did whatever we felt was right. Of course, we did exercise some restraint; too much of a good thing can spoil a person, and a quick commitment can lead to a lifetime of misery.

I believe that is how a proper courtship should go- with both partners having equal footing, the pace being satisfying but not indulgent, and most of all, with complete sincerity.

And what where did we all come from? Fish? or Apes? @_@

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 4280386489

I am going to have to direct you to Arthur the Rabbit for that.

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:38 pm

Officer Kirkland wrote:Oh wise elder...

Should a club be kept separate from a spear or can they be stored together?

And if you club a fish, won't it... Splatter?

You are making me lose all hope for your society. If you continue rejecting my wisdom I am going to send you to a bear cave.

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Cave-11-facade

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Cave-11-facade

by Officer Kirkland Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:41 pm

-brings the elder an offering-

Elder, they were honest questions. But... I suppose...

-goes off to find himself a club-

by Damsey Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:42 pm

What did Neanderthals think about life? xD

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:49 pm

Officer Kirkland wrote:-brings the elder an offering-

Elder, they were honest questions. But... I suppose...

-goes off to find himself a club-

*accepts offering* I understand, child, your time is different from mine and perhaps things may be lost in translation.

However, the bear cave is still right over there.

But why would you need a club? If I recall correctly, your friend Poofy has a wonderfully strong, sturdy spear that he wouldn't mind giving to you.

by Damsey Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:50 pm

Are dinosaurs real? B|

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:53 pm

Damsel Arthur wrote:What did Neanderthals think about life? xD

We never did have much time to stop and think about life, as we were too busy living it.

It was difficult back in my day, and every day there was a very real chance that you would perish. I cannot speak for my tribe members, but for me it was simple survival that occupied my every thought, and I paid no attention to anything I deemed unnecessary.

That is, of course, until I met Alfred.

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:04 pm

Damsel Arthur wrote:Are dinosaurs real? B|

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Dino

Yes, they are excellent with children.

For those interested, dinosaurs were absolutely before my time. I think you may find that the definition of TRIBE ELDER is relative.

by Damsey Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:05 pm

Do you pick your food? Or do you just eat whatever? xD

by Arthur the Hunter Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:13 pm

Damsel Arthur wrote:Do you pick your food? Or do you just eat whatever? xD

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Roe_deer

I'm not very picky, but I find these animals particularly lovely.

by Damsey Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:16 pm

How do you communicate with others? xD

by Officer Kirkland Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:42 am

Elder, the whole point of finding something to fill this void of emptiness within me is because Poofy cannot always be with me... Er, I suppose I should say that the spear cannot be continually pointing at the fish?

Nonetheless, I shall take your advice to find a club. Could you perhaps point me in the direction of one, please?

~~Oh Meaty, these innuendos XDDD~~

by Guest Tue Aug 23, 2011 2:24 am

So, Mr. Neanderthal, I know what you said about spears and clubs and all that, but what do you do when you want to go, uh, well, not quite spearing with your chief-boss-person? I mean, how do you go about that? I don't want to... spear him yet, I just want to get to know him. Are there any rules or anything to follow?

by Arthur the Hunter Tue Aug 23, 2011 3:48 am

Newbie Reporter Jones wrote:So, Mr. Neanderthal, I know what you said about spears and clubs and all that, but what do you do when you want to go, uh, well, not quite spearing with your chief-boss-person? I mean, how do you go about that? I don't want to... spear him yet, I just want to get to know him. Are there any rules or anything to follow?

As I said before, you must be like a steady rock in his stream- he must know he can trust you. In your case, there seems to be some sort of class divide- our tribe was a little more egalitarian, but I think I can understand. If there is a class divide, there must be mutual trust; on your part so you know he will not abuse his power, and on his part so he knows you will never manipulate his emotions or hold anything against him.

I said in my reply to Damsel Arthur that I do not believe in set rules of courtship, and in this case that is still true. But you should take it slowly and keep no secrets from each other.

However, keep this in mind- life is short, and you have to savour what you have while you are still alive.

Elder, the whole point of finding something to fill this void of emptiness within me is because Poofy cannot always be with me... Er, I suppose I should say that the spear cannot be continually pointing at the fish?

Nonetheless, I shall take your advice to find a club. Could you perhaps point me in the direction of one, please?

Young Fuzzy, I know your predicament well, and in part I do blame Poofy for not being quicker about it. But Poofy is a very sweet man, and I think his feelings would be very much injured if you were to go find a club.

THAT BEING SAID, YOUR CLUB IS IN A BEAR CAVE. YOU NEED TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE.

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Bear_cave

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Bear_cave

How do you communicate with others? xD

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Lady_gaga_telephone_gif_by_megapapergirl_141849452

By telephone.

by Damsey Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:29 am

I know that you said that trust is really essential in a relationship but how do you know if you can trust that person? How do you know that he won't betray you?

by Guest Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:37 am

I see your point, Mr. Neanderthal, but... What if there are secrets I need to keep from him? I mean, for his own safety? I'd never do anything to hurt him.

by Lord Arthur Kirkland Tue Aug 23, 2011 6:10 am

Oh wise Meaty...

What should one do if their fish believes himself to be a spear?

by **Detective Jones** Tue Aug 23, 2011 9:00 am

I thought I might as well poke in a question to the ancient one as well.

Would you have any advice for setting the er..mood when your with your...fish? >//>

by **King of Spades** Tue Aug 23, 2011 2:11 pm

Why am I so beautiful?

by Wanda Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:23 pm

Is it possible for someone fight a saber-tooth with only their fists?

by Arthur the Hunter Tue Aug 23, 2011 4:54 pm

Damsel Arthur wrote:I know that you said that trust is really essential in a relationship but how do you know if you can trust that person? How do you know that he won't betray you?

Newbie Reporter Jones wrote:I see your point, Mr. Neanderthal, but... What if there are secrets I need to keep from him? I mean, for his own safety? I'd never do anything to hurt him.

You two need to meet up and talk.

Trust comes when you know you can rely on them for anything. You do not have to know everything about them- though that would be nice- because people do have some things they would rather not tell. Do not press them for answers; you will only drive them away.

But there are reasons why we decide to move in the safety of a tribe rather than travel on our own. You cannot keep secrets concerning the one you love from them forever. Eventually you will have to tell them, when the time is right, even if it is safer that they remain in ignorance. Try it sometime. I think you'll find your lover is much stronger than you give them credit for.

Detective Jones wrote:Would you have any advice for setting the er..mood when your with your...fish? >//>

It depends on the fish. As a fish myself I can tell you that no one who's ever tried to set the mood has ever succeeded. It just comes in time. Why don't you just go for it, and along the way ask your fish if what you're doing is fine?

King of Spades wrote:Why am I so beautiful?

~~Because you are descended from Alfred.~~

Nature gave you a blessing. Use it to your advantage.

That Darwin man definitely had a point.

Wanderer Alfred Jones wrote:Is it possible for someone fight a saber-tooth with only their fists?

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 2_meltdown_060405074321077_wideweb__300x237

Would you like to try?

Wasteland Doctor Kirkland wrote:
What should one do if their fish believes himself to be a spear?

SPEAR HIM FIRST.

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 LikeaBoss

But pay him the same courtesy after, if it really bothers him.

by Lord Arthur Kirkland Tue Aug 23, 2011 6:02 pm

Will Poofy ever manage to spear his fish?

by Wanda Tue Aug 23, 2011 6:37 pm

That depends, did your Alfred ever try that? 'cause if yes.

Then, sure. :D

So.

Let's say that you are trying to get the attention of your spear/fish and they are being oblivious to you, what should you do?

(...this might been ask before, oys.

And yes, I know there might be irony on the fact a 'Alfred' is asking this.)

by StarQBAlfredJones Tue Aug 23, 2011 7:16 pm

What do you do if you're a fish but you're too shy to tell your possible spear that you're a fish?

by Arthur the Hunter Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:55 pm

Wanderer Alfred Jones wrote:Let's say that you are trying to get the attention of your spear/fish and they are being oblivious to you, what should you do?

There are many ways to make the one you love notice you, but personally I find the giving of gifts to be a particularly effective method of showing affection and care.

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Truffle_wooly_mammoth

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Truffle_wooly_mammoth

Wouldn't you think so? The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 3796487374

StarQBAlfredJones wrote:What do you do if you're a fish but you're too shy to tell your possible spear that you're a fish?

Let me guess- you must be one of those misunderstood few who are thought to be spears because of the way they look. Perhaps broad shoulders, or height, or a more muscular or robust frame than your partner's has led people to this conclusion; or perhaps even without these features, you are like me and are a better hunter and survivor than most of your tribe. It is no sin to be the fish in our metaphor, but perhaps the best way is to just be more forward about it.

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Im-on-a-horse

The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 Im-on-a-horse

I suggest you take him on a wild, wild ride.

See if he still wants to be a spear after. The Book of Prehistoric Proverbs - Page 2 40742102

Wasteland Doctor Kirkland wrote:Will Poofy ever manage to spear his fish?

A wise person I know once said:

A true hunter will keep the spear steady and poised until such a time comes when it is able to finally penetrate the fish.

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