Halcyon [Mister + Assi] - R-18

Gazing up at Arthur for a long moment, Alfred soon sighed and gave him a slight smile though he couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"...Fine. Guess I can't really deny you that."

With that, he leant up so he could give him one last long yet chaste kiss before pulling away. He looked rather content and he stroked Arthur's bangs out of his face before he did so.

"Let's go now."

Arthur returned the kiss as it lasted, wishing that it would go on longer. But he didn’t demand it of Alfred. He exhaled slowly as Alfred brushed his hair from his face and then nodded.

The way he was looking at Alfred could only be called a look of love.

“Let’s go.”
~
Weeks passed, each day better than the last as Arthur invested all of his time in Alfred. They only had so long that they could do this before Arthur would have to… have to stop. He didn’t want to stop. Not when Alfred’s company was so enjoyable.

He was so funny, entertaining, optimistic, bloody beautiful, good-hearted… Arthur never wanted to leave Columbia. He wished that he could stay and marry Alfred instead, love Alfred and spend their lives together. Being apart for long lengths of time (hours) meant that they would cling to each other at night. They would hold each other and Arthur would whisper words of comfort when ever Alfred had a bad dream (which was how they had come to begin sharing beds… aside from not wanting to leave one another after kissing and such).

They kissed, they touched, they explored, they fought, they played, they laughed, they loved…

But that was over now and reality was staring them in the face.

It was Madeline’s fourteenth birthday today, and the day of their wedding. He and Alfred had been together the night before and Arthur couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Alfred’s hair, his smile, his smell, his touch. He didn’t want to give it up. But he hadn’t cried. He couldn’t possibly cry. This was supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he could only imagine how awful Madeline probably felt knowing that she was being married off to a prince that didn’t love her.

Arthur looked at himself in the dirty mirror, examining his smart dress robes that he had been given for the ceremony. His father’s only advice had been to ‘try his best’ that night. Which had offended Arthur, obviously. It was not his bedroom abilities that he doubted, but also his heart. He tried to focus on Madeline and her beauty. She was turning into a lovely young woman, and he was lucky that she was his wife.

He just didn’t want her.

Arthur sighed shakily, meeting his own gaze in the mirror. He felt as though he could grieve now. He had a couple of hours before the wedding began. Why not let it all out now?

His jaw was tight as he instinctively fought tears.

He was already going to hell. Why not enjoy his life rather than live a lie? This was unfair. Life was so unfair.

His lips wobbled as his expression began to crumble. He moved away from the mirror and sat on a chair beside it. He held his head in his hands. He was an awful human being. He’d betrayed his fiancée and someone else other than her held his heart.

Alfred knew that he was terrible taking away all of Madeline's time with Arthur as they spent it instead in each other's company. He knew that he was supposed to spend more time with his sister before she left but instead he couldn't help but feel a bit hurt.

She would have Arthur for the rest of her life He wouldn't have him nor her.

It felt terrible but he managed to always push those terrible thoughts away as he occupied himself with Arthur's lips, touches, laughter and so much more. He never meant to get this close to the other prince. He never meant to smile at his corny jokes or to want to cuddle up against him in bed. A part of him wanted just to marry Arthur instead and be taken to Albion, which he knew was too cold for him. Yet still!

Alfred almost cried the night before as he enjoyed his last moments with Arthur. Arthur wouldn't be his after that night. On the day of the marriage, he wouldn't have him anymore. He would have to give him off to Madeline and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. But he managed to hold his tears back in, his frustration and why couldn't Arthur just stay here in Columbia forever, unmarried?

The prince actually wanted to completely skip the wedding. He didn't want to see the worst day of his life unfold in front of him but he was forced to. It would look bad for the kingdom. So he was dressed in his very best clothes, cleaned up and standing with his back straight like a proper and proud brother should be.

He had visited Madeline first, smiling at her and congratulating her for having such a wonderful man to marry.

He knew personally that Arthur was wonderful but he knew by then that he didn't love her. But he would love her in a few years. Alfred knew that.

Soon enough he went to come visit Arthur, needing to at least see him once more before he was married. Quietly he knocked at Arthur's door before slowly entering in, whether permission was granted or not. To see the prince's form made his own expression crumble a bit and he tried to hold back the tears that were pricking the corners of his eyes.

Slowly he walked towards the other boy and rested his hand on the prince's shoulder, giving him a small yet hesitant smile.

"Don't be sad, Arthur," He murmured softly. "This was our deal, right? M...Maddie will be an amazing wife. Trust me. Soon enough you'll forget about me and it'll be alright. You can live your life."

It hurt saying it. He never wanted Arthur to forget him. Ever. The thought of it all made him want to cry even more.

Arthur tensed visibly as he felt someone else’s presence. He looked up, through his fingers to see Alfred. His stomach churned as a hand was rested on his shoulder. He wiped at his eyes, sniffling and then looked up at him properly. He could only hope that his eyes weren’t bloodshot and red from crying.

He opened his mouth to say something but couldn’t find the words. He let out a croak and covered his mouth, just looking up at Alfred silently. He shook as he calmed down and stared at the table. He pursed his lips.

“I… I don’t…. doubt that Madeline will be a good queen. But I will never make her happy,” he said slowly, “because I… I love someone else.”

And there, he’d said it. Whatever love was, Arthur was sure that this was it. Only Alfred had made him feel this happy and loved and wanted. More so than his parents ever had.

“I love you,” he confessed brokenly. “I’ll never forget you.”

Alfred felt his breath hitch in his throat when he heard Arthur's confession. They were words that he never imagined to hear. Ever. He had thought that it would be easier to have Arthur leave in the end but now he knew that it would be so much harder. Especially when...when Arthur loved him.

Arthur loved him. And...he loved him back.

And it was the most terrible feeling. To know now that his sister would be able to have the man that he loved and for once he wished he could be in Madeline's position.

All of Alfred's world seemed to break as he heard his words and he swallowed thickly, trying to prevent the tears from coming out.

"...I love you too," He whispered, not able to bring his voice any louder. "But you'll love again. After years pass, the pain will dull down and all I will be is a distant memory."

Alfred reached forward to brush Arthur's bangs out of his face, crouching down to give him a small smile.

"...You look really handsome."

Arthur swallowed thickly, feeling both elated and devastated when Alfred said he loved him, too. This was so unfair. So unjust. Why could it just be him and Alfred that were being married to one another? He would love to love Alfred for the rest of his life. They argued a lot, but they were passionate about one another and that was all that Arthur wanted. All he wanted.

He couldn’t bring himself to answer because no, he didn’t believe that he would love anyone else. He certainly would not love Madeline. Perhaps platonically, but not enough to ever want to give her children or sleep by her side. He wanted to wake up beside Alfred everyday.

His gaze followed Alfred as he crouched and he tried to smile, although it was bittersweet. He leaned into the touch and took Alfred’s hand, pressing it to his cheek.

“As do you…”

Alfred wanted to believe that this was just a child's crush. That in a few years time, he would be able to get over Arthur and love someone else and that the other prince would be able to do the same as well.

He just let his hand press against Arthur's cheek and he swallowed thickly, not wanting to cry in front of the prince. This was supposed to be the happiest day of Arthur's life.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I wish I could have you."

He sighed and soon stood up, swallowing once more. He couldn't take one more kiss. This was Madeline's day. He soon took a few steps backwards.

"I wish I could stay longer but...but it's not my place to be here." Alfred wanted to run away with Arthur but he knew that couldn't be.

Arthur chuckled sadly, letting Alfred go.

“I wish that, too,” he sighed. He stood up as well, wanting to follow Alfred although he knew that he shouldn’t. It would be all too tempting to run away together. Steal some horses and just ride as far away as they could, off into the mountains together.

He just nodded once, pursing his lips as he tried not to cry again.

“I understand, poppet,” his voice was quiet. “I… I suppose that this will be the last time that we see each other alone for quite some time.” He gulped, not wanting to think about the harsh reality too much. “When you do have to… marry, Alfred, please, um… please forget me so that at least one of us can be happy.”

Alfred hesitated at that and he swallowed thickly, feeling terribly pained about it all. He kept his distance and he just quietly listened to Arthur. He came here in hopes to make him feel better but...he really wasn't doing all that great with that.

He wanted to run away with Arthur but...he didn't know how to live a life away from royalty. He wasn't going to pretend that he knew how to. He couldn't run away from his future responsibilities.

He wanted to cry but he tried to hold himself back.

Breath shuddering a bit, he soon took a few steps forward to pull Arthur forward and give him one long yet final kiss before pulling away. Alfred stared at Arthur's lovely eyes for a long moment.

"I'm so sorry, Arthur," He whispered before finally making his way out of the room.

Arthur grasped on to the fabric of Alfred’s clothes, clinging on to him as they kissed for what he knew would be the last time. It hurt to know that. He looked at the other, admiring the blue that met his gaze. He sighed shakily as he reluctantly let Alfred go.

The one person that he’d ever truly loved.

The ceremony was shortly afterwards. Arthur’s father collected him and led him to the chapel within the church where the ceremony was to be held. There were hundreds of people crammed into the room, not all of them regally dressed. It said something about Columbia, he supposed, if regular citizens could attend the royal wedding.

He stood at the top of the aisle and was presented with his crown, which he carefully put on. The crown was embellished with jewels, gold and pearls – it had been a ‘gift’ to Albion some years ago when Albion began to conquer other realms. The weight was heavy on his head.

He felt totally and utterly numb as he waited for the wedding ceremony to begin, the happiest – no, the worst day of his life.

Alfred was sitting in the front as he was part of the royal family and was also observing his sister getting married off. But he wished that he could just be off in the forest and stay in there until the ceremony was over and all the decorations were taken down and Arthur was gone.

It was terrible, watching Arthur as he stood in front of hundreds of people. The wedding was huge and Alfred knew that it would be the case.

Yet he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be so far away.

Swallowing thickly, he tried to keep his expression neutral as he watched Arthur.

In his opinion, the crown looked a bit too big for Arthur. He still looked so young as he stood in front of hundreds of people. To watch his love being married off was the most painful feeling in the world.

And soon Madeline came in with her lovely wedding dress, looking beautiful as always.

Alfred couldn't even look.

Arthur stood with his hands behind his back, underneath his cape. He tried to smile, but it was small. She did look lovely. And he was so fortunate to be being married to someone blessed with good genetics and not someone who looked like a horse. He had to be grateful. He had to be.

It was difficult for Arthur not to be distracted by Alfred in the front row. He looked so sad.

Arthur held out his hand to take Madeline’s once she reached him. Then they could do their vows, sign the documents and begin the journey home to Albion.

He was going to miss Columbia.

Madeline took Arthur's hand and she gave him a gentle smile. It really wasn't all that well known if she wanted the marriage or not. Whether she liked Arthur or not...

It really wasn't known and personally, Alfred didn't want to know. He just wanted Madeline and Arthur to live a good life.

That was the most selfless thing he could hope for...right?

Yet despite wanting to be selfless, Alfred didn't lift his gaze all that much to gaze upon his former lover and his sister. He was supposed to be happy for his sister but he just wanted to curl up and be left alone. Alfred's mother soon noticed and she rubbed his shoulder soothingly though the prince didn't react to her touch.

Arthur tried to smile reassuringly back at her. Whether she liked him or not, he knew that it was going to be difficult for her, as well. He let her towards the front of the chapel, where the priest stood and the ceremony began.

The entire time, Arthur found himself looking back into the audience, at Alfred. He just so desperately wanted to say ‘no’ and confess that he loved and wanted Alfred. He could just imagine the shock and outrage on everyone’s faces. He would throw off his crown and his finery and run to Alfred. They would join hands and escape, going far, far away where no one could find them.

He could see how distressed Alfred was.

“I will,” he murmured in response to the vows. Soon they would sign the paper and it would be official. Arthur’s freedom would be gone and he would be tied into wedlock.

Madeline looked rather happy throughout the wedding ceremony and it was obvious that she was a bit struck by how amazing everything was. Yet Alfred found it harder to have her appreciation. Especially when Arthur was being married off.

And to hear Arthur say the words 'I will' and to hear Madeline return them back, Alfred knew that there was no escaping now.

There was nothing he could do about it anymore.

Madeline soon took the quill in her hand as she signed her name with a flourish, then she handed it over to Arthur.

Alfred couldn't take it anymore. Instead he smiled at his mother and swallowed.

"Sorry mother. I must go. Mother nature is calling me," He said softly before he finally stood up and hurried out of the church as quietly as he could. He couldn't watch Arthur sign his life away. Alfred refused to go to the after party either and instead he stayed outside in the garden, curled up on the bench uselessly.

Arthur took the quill and hesitated only for a few moments before he signed his name alongside hers. He felt like he was selling his soul; there was no way to get out of this now. He was trapped for life.

“Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the future King and Queen of Albion,” the priest announced. As Arthur turned around to look at all of the cheering people, his eyes immediately searched for Alfred, who was not there. His heart sank as he felt like he could cry again.

Instead, he tried to force a smile. He had to keep up appearances for his kingdom, for his parents, for Madeline’s sake. He had to be strong.

Arthur sat in one of the royal seats for the majority of the after party. The only time he moved was to get more alcohol. He noticed that Alfred was not at the party either, nut knew that he had to keep smiling and pretending to be happy, even though he wasn’t.

They were due to leave in the early evening and it required Arthur and Madeline to sit in a horse-drawn carriage to wave farewell to the people of Columbia. This was probably going to be just as painful for Madeline as it was for himself. She was saying goodbye to her home.

Arthur had changed from his wedding robes to more relaxed, yet regal dress. He approached Madeline as their carriage was being prepared.

“You should say goodbye to Alfred,” he said softly to her.

Madeline looked a bit worried when she saw that Alfred was gone now and she did so wish to see him once more at least. But even when she got out of halls, she couldn't find him. She had a feeling that he didn't want to see her anymore...nor really anyone. Though she did wish to see him once more.

Yet when Arthur told her to go see Alfred, she soon turned around to face him before swallowing a bit and shaking her head.

"I haven't been able to find him," She admitted with a sigh. "He looked so sad during the wedding. I don't blame him...he's losing a good friend and his sister," She murmured. She played with her curly blonde hair.

"I will be fine and I'm sure--" She stopped though and soon turned around as she heard footsteps behind them. There Alfred was, looking miserable though he had a small smile on his lips.

"I had to see you before you both left," Alfred admitted, a slump to his shoulders and his sister just gazed up at her older brother. Madeline gave a small smile back in return before stepping forward to hug her brother tightly.

"Oh I will miss you, Alfred. And I'm sure Arthur will also."

Alfred gazed at Arthur over Madeline's shoulder, breath slow before he finally closed his eyes.

"I will miss you both also. Go on now. Don't let me keep you here."

Arthur sighed heavily, scratching the back of his neck as he wondered where Alfred had gone. To the forest, perhaps. Maybe even out into the streets to drink away his sorrows. Who knew.

But then there he was and Arthur felt like he hadn’t seen Alfred for years. He so desperately wanted to hug him goodbye, but he knew that it wasn’t proper for him to do so. He pursed his lips as he looked at Alfred, hugging Madeline. He held his gaze and felt his heart thumping loudly in his chest. As Alfred’s eyes closed, he felt sick.

“I’ll miss you very much, Alfred,” he murmured. “Write to us, won’t you?” But it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be anything like sharing a bed with Alfred and sleeping with the younger boy in his arms.

He wanted to hug him. Just one last time. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t.

Arthur could hear his father calling them and grimaced.

“We have to go…”

Alfred gave Arthur a hesitant smile before nodding, laughing a bit though it didn't have as much life to it as he wished for it to have.

"Of course, Arthur. I wouldn't forget to write my closest...friend."

The word felt odd on his tongue. He wanted to call him more than just that. He deserved more than just that. It was Arthur...his Arthur.

No...not his anymore. Arthur wasn't his anymore.

Madeline jumped up a bit when Arthur's father called them and she soon pulled away, looking a bit regretful.

"Good bye, Alfred," She murmured before finally grabbing Arthur's hand lightly before walking towards the carriage that would take her back.

Alfred just watched them quietly as they left.

Arthur let Madeline begin to lead him away. Friend. Alfred had called him his ‘closest friend’. They were so, so much more than that, that the word itself seemed meaningless.

He looked back over his shoulder at Alfred, his eyes shining somewhat in the dim light. He hoped that his eyes conveyed the emotion he felt about leaving Alfred; he was heartbroken, devastated and most of all, he was sorry that he had ever made Alfred fall for him in the first place.

He didn’t look forward again until he had to, assisting Madeline to get up on to the carriage before quickly following. He watched Alfred’s figure as they pulled out of the castle and began the journey to Albion.

The streets were lined with people cheering and throwing flowers. Arthur knew that he should have felt overjoyed, but he instead felt empty. He just waved to the crowds as he was expected to, trying to fake a smile.

Who knew when they would see each other again…?

Alfred just quietly watched as Arthur left in the carriage and he soon slumped, rubbing at his eyes. He had held back his tears for so long but now they were stinging at the corners of his eyes. It had hurt calling Arthur just a friend...especially when they were closer than that but he couldn't call him more than just a friend now.

Arthur was in a marriage vow now. And sooner or later, he would be as well.

Everything was over and both of the princes knew this too well. Sooner or later, it would become a memory that Arthur could chuckle over when he was old and wiser.

Yet for now, all Alfred could feel was heart wrenching pain. Would it ever seize in its pain?

And as the carriage disappeared in the distance, Alfred quietly turned away and headed back to the castle. It hurt to swallow and his breaths came in short gasps.

From that point on, without his sister to take care of or Arthur to spend his time with, Alfred began paying more attention to his sword fighting. He began to study up on the world and look at all the unexplored areas of his kingdom and other kingdoms. Anything to take his mind off of Arthur, his lost love.

Alfred only wrote a few letters to Madeline and Arthur but it was only inquiring on how they were doing. He rarely wrote about himself and if he did, it was just a few complaints on how the royal family was wearing him down. After the first year though, Alfred's letters stopped completely and it almost seemed as if the both of them were completely written off of his mind.

The prince became a traveller, just as Arthur urged him to be. When he hit the age of sixteen, Alfred started to explore the lands from the mountains to the forests and began charting as he headed west. The queen of Columbia had been worried about Alfred's decision but the king assured her that it was what was right for him. He needed to grow to become a man and take and learn what he could of their kingdom before he himself became a king.

Alfred would at times think of Arthur at night as he laid in bed at certain inns or laid on the forest floor with his horse curled up next to him. But he never let his thoughts linger on him for too long. Yet despite everything, despite his want to get over his childhood lover, he couldn't help but think how he was. How no one else was as desirable as him. How he hadn't touched a woman or another man as he travelled and instead stayed in his own company.

Three years had passed and Alfred turned eighteen two seasons before. He was now in Albion and the land was too cold for him. The heavy snow bit at his skin and it was then that...maybe he should come to visit Arthur and his beloved sister.

And so in the midst of winter, Alfred found himself in front of the Albion castle gates, unannounced and shivering despite his heavier clothes.

"I am Prince Alfred of Columbia. I wish to request to be able to see Prince Arthur and Princess Madeline," He told the guard, showing off the crest of Columbia on his clothes.

Arthur spent the next three years being constantly pressured to create an heir to his throne. Arthur, of course, refused to do so.

He busied himself with reading, sitting in on the political meetings of the kingdom and learnt how to read a map. He tried to make it seem as though he had very little time to spend with Madeline, his wife. Undoubtedly, it was incredibly embarrassing for her to have not bore any children after three years in wedlock but Arthur had not touched her. The most intimate they had been was the few times they had shared a bed until Arthur requested that he had his own quarters; he had said that Madeline was simply too distracting for him to be around constantly.

Arthur was gossiped about in the court and as a result, kept mostly to himself. The only thing he’d truly achieved in the past three years was becoming a recluse. He would soon turn twenty and he knew that his father didn’t have long left to live. He would have to be prepared for when the time came for him to take the throne. It scared him beyond belief.

And he always thought of Alfred.

Madeline looked so very similar to him that he found it hard not to think about him. When Alfred’s letters stopped, Arthur just assumed that he had moved on and that Arthur should do the same. But it left him heartbroken. He didn’t like the thought that Alfred was now sleeping around and searching for his queen. It made him sick to think about anyone else lying with him. Whenever he heard a particularly obnoxious laugh, or the sound of the violin, he thought of his love and how he had lost him.

Arthur was in his chambers when a messenger came to his door. He glowered at the boy stood in the doorway, gripping his book tightly in his hands out of frustration.

“What do you want?”

“Your highness, Prince Alfred of Columbia requests your presence.”

Arthur dropped his book.

Madeline at first was glad that Arthur really had no intention of being with her. She wasn't ready for that kind of dedication or to lie with her husband but all at the same time, as the years passed, she felt a bit more isolated from her husband but she never made any mention of it. She was too polite for it and maybe Arthur just didn't find her desirable. But she knew that one day he would have to bed her so they could have children, especially when Arthur's father died.

She truly loved Albion. She loved the cold more than the warmth and it was just perfect for her. She found herself wandering around the courtyards many times when Arthur didn't want to be around her.

Yet one day, three years later after she got to Albion, she learnt of her brother's arrival.

How unexpected, especially after so many years of not seeing him or hearing from him. Her heart raced just at the thought of seeing her brother once more and so she found herself waiting impatiently at the entrance of the castle.

Her blue eyes gazed forward as she saw a cloaked figure walking towards the entrance of the castle itself and she recognised the fashion of those clothes. They were definitely from Columbia's royalty.

It was definitely Alfred.

“A-are you sure?” Arthur stammered, eyes wide in amazement.

“Quite.”

“Right… please be sure that he is made comfortable whilst he waits.” He didn’t bother to pick up his book as he left the room. He spied a servant and immediately demanded their attention. “Prepare a bed and food for our guest.” Alfred would probably be tired and cold – for that fact, Arthur was amazed that Alfred was visiting whilst the snow outside was so thick. He glanced out of a nearby window to confirm that yes, there was heavy snowfall as well.

But why now? Why here? Was Alfred going to be happy to see him? Would he still bear those angelic, youthful features that he had done all those years ago?

He hurried down to the entrance, where he saw Madeline stood. Alfred must have requested to see both of them, he realised with a sigh. It was unsurprising, though.

Arthur joined his wife, trying not to show how nervous he was.

“Is he really here?” he asked her softly, sounding almost fearful.

Madeline nodded and she looked over at her husband for a moment.

"Yes. I do hope that is him," She whispered softly. "Oh how I've missed my brother."

It took a few minutes, considering how much Alfred was shivering though soon enough he got to both Arthur and Madeline.

"God...it's been a long time. Both of you," Alfred whispered before pulling the hood off of his head, shaking a bit of the snow off of his hair.

It was obvious that he had definitely had his growth spurt, now standing taller than Arthur. His face was more well structured and his body stronger from all of his travels. His hair was still its lovely golden blonde and his eyes bright blue and his smile never seemed to change.

Alfred's gaze first went to Madeline, observing her before she darted forward to hug him tightly. He quickly kissed her cheek.

"You've grown to be beautiful, Maddie," He whispered before pulling away from the hug and looking over at Arthur, still smiling gently.

"And I've missed you, Arthur."