Same Job, Different Time and Place [R-18] - Part 4

“Mhm,” Arthur agreed, clearly thinking about something else as he led them back to the bedroom. He hesitated a little. Should he really get in that bed? He sighed softly and eventually decided that yes, he should. He got beneath the covers on his side of the bed. He stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t believe that had just happened and drugs were still in his system.

He’d never seen his blood on someone else before. He didn’t want to again. Particularly not on Alfred.

Alfred just looked at Arthur and he sighed, soon reaching over so he could cuddle up against him. He didn't really know if Arthur wanted to cuddle up with him right now or not but he just wanted to do it more for his own sake than anything else.

"Love you," He murmured softly again, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

He leant down to press a kiss to Arthur's shoulder.

He would never hurt Arthur like that again.

Arthur let Alfred pull him into an embrace and sort of settled into it, though he was tense at first. He knew Alfred needed it and, honestly, he did too. He needed to know that Alfred would forgive him one day for acting like… well, like a monster. That wasn’t him. That was something that a substance created. The fact that he could so easily turn into that monster frightened him greatly.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, disbelieving.

He wouldn’t let himself become his grandfather.

Alfred knew that the cocaine was bringing out something terrible in the both of them. It was the first time he really ever had gotten aggressive with Arthur and he hated it. That wasn't him. He was a man who loved and adored, was sensitive and honest towards his lover.

To think that he wasn't even taking it and it was already bringing out the worst in him.

He just hoped that Arthur would actually go to rehab in the end.

He soon quickly fell asleep with Arthur in his arms. It was a rather fitful sleep despite having the warmth in his arms and he soon woke up at about 8 AM, considerably early considering him. Rubbing his eyes, he sighed and hesitantly let go of Arthur, shifting around uneasily.

Everything was still weighing heavily down on him and he couldn't help but fear another repeat of the situation. He knew that he wouldn't be able to get any kind of sleep anytime soon so he stood up and headed into the main room, making sure to check every part of the flat for any signs of cocaine. He preferred to do it while Arthur was asleep so he wouldn't be tempted.

The thought made him shiver.

Arthur was asleep for quite some time after Alfred had gotten out of bed, dreaming of nothingness. Though, eventually he stirred some hour later and found that the bed was empty aside from him. He felt like shit. Then he glanced at the time and felt even worse; it was too early to be awake considering what had happened in the night. He groaned a little, knowing he wouldn’t find sleep again easily.

He reached out to Alfred’s side of the bed, finding that it was a little cold, meaning that he’d gotten out of bed however long ago, without disturbing Arthur. He sighed, rolling to lie on his front for a few minutes, lazily dozing in bed before he eventually decided it was time he should get up. He rolled groggily out of bed, pulling up his pyjama bottoms that threatened to fall down and show how naked he was beneath them. Looking out of the window, it seemed as though the sun was shining on New York again.

He rubbed his eyes, heading out of the bedroom to find Alfred.

Alfred just sighed as he found nothing much else though he made sure to get rid of the last traces of cocaine that lingered on the bookshelves.

When he heard the door open, he pulled away from the bookshelf and soon headed towards the kitchen, giving a small smile over at Arthur.

"Morning. Want some breakfast?" He asked curiously, trying to brush off any suspicion of what he was doing.

He knew that they would have to clear things up though before his birthday or else it would be an absolutely miserable birthday. He just wanted to spend time with his lover for it.

Arthur blinked up at Alfred, raising an eyebrow before shaking his head.

“Not right now,” he said softly and followed Alfred, stopping him from going into the kitchen by lightly taking his wrist in his un-bandaged hand. “I need to talk to you.”

He needed to apologise for his behaviour. He wouldn’t let Alfred believe that it was acceptable, the way he acted because it wasn’t and it needed to be dealt with. It was Alfred’s birthday in three days, for goodness sake’s.

Alfred stopped and hesitated at that though he sighed and nodded. He didn't really want to talk about it but he knew that they would have to talk about it. Especially if they wanted to make things better between the both of them.

He was still tired but he was determined on making things better.

"Yeah, we need to talk."

He gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand gently before leading the both of them to the couch. Sighing a bit, he soon sat down.

Arthur sat beside Alfred, though he carefully pulled his hand away, going to fidget with his bandage.

“What happened last night… I’m sorry for what happened. I was weak and gave in when I shouldn’t have. I should have woken you up and told you how I felt rather than going to find, um, ‘it’ in the flat. I know I hurt you and it kills me to have to admit that I have, but there aren’t any excuses for what I did. I really hurt you, put my blood all over you,” he grimaced. “That wasn’t me. It wasn’t and… you need to know that what I did is not alright, it will never be alright and no one should ever treat you like that,” he finally found himself looking up at Alfred.

“That was abusive and I honestly would rather die than see you go through something like that. What I’m trying to say is, if I ever get like that, then don’t hesitate to hit back. I know you’re stronger and that it’s easy for you to pin me down but I’m giving my word that, should the circumstance lead to it, then you can do what’s necessary.”

Alfred just listened to him and he couldn't help but smile somewhat at that. It...it was a relief hearing that from Arthur. It was just what he needed to hear. And while he knew that everything still wasn't completely alright...it was definitely better than what it had been last night.

He loved this man...even with all his flaws. They both had flaws and they had to admit it.

He just nodded and squeezed Arthur's hand somewhat tighter.

"Of course...but I just don't want to hurt you again. Sometimes I forget my own strength and it's painful hurting you when I barely realise it." He let out a shuddered sigh. "I really do love you and I just don't want to repeat that again. I don't want to resort back to pinning you against something."

He swallowed.

"I hurt you also. I promised I would be your love and support but instead I got angry and frustrated and lashed out and yelled instead." He knew that in a way, he was justified, but it still wasn't the way it should have been carried out.

"I know that you'll have hard times in the future but I want to be understanding and help you through this. I...I want to help you put your life back on track."

Arthur shook his head, “I was being a twat, Alfred. You had every reason to act like that. I shouldn’t rely on you like that… taking care of a recovering addict isn’t easy and it’s something a professional should be doing.” He let out a slow sigh. “So, I’ve decided that I will go to rehab. For your sake.”

He wasn’t quite comfortable with Alfred holding his hand, but didn’t deny him.

“I only acted that way because of the cocaine…” he didn’t really want to tell Alfred what it had reminded him of from his childhood. “We… let’s put it behind us, we’ll enjoy your birthday together and then I’ll check myself in somewhere. My father offered to help cover some of the costs… the condition being that my family come to our wedding.”

Alfred's eyes widened at that and he just smiled. While he didn't particularly want Arthur to go to rehab, it was the only way that they could get through this together.

"...Thank you...I know a few good ones around that I've heard about."

He let out a shuddered sigh.

Thank God...thank God that Arthur was going to go and that some of the costs would be covered. While he was certain that they could pay for it all, it would have made a huge dent in their savings. He had made a lot during his time in Florida but still...

And while he didn't want parts of Arthur's family to come to the wedding...they needed to get over this hurdle first.

"Of course...that's fine... it's worth it in the end."

Even if it meant seeing Arthur's mother. He just would have to stay away from her, if she even decided to come.

"Thank you."

“It’s for the best. Don’t thank me,” Arthur mumbled, looking away. “I… don’t especially want my family to come, but I’m sure they would gate-crash regardless if we invited them or not.”

He swallowed thickly, shifting on the sofa as he pulled up his pyjama bottoms again.

“Now, we need to know if your mother is coming up or not for your birthday?”

Alfred just smiled a bit at that and he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, you're right about that. They seem like the kind of people to do that anyways." He chuckled though it was a bit hesitant.

That was months away though. They didn't have to worry about that right now. Currently they had to worry about Arthur's condition and getting him to rehab. He knew that in the end though, it would be for the best.

Alfred shrugged and curled up more on the couch.

"Yeah, she said something about wanting to drop by for my birthday and then she's gonna head up to Canada to visit Matt and Kat. She also wanted to see how you were also."

Arthur paled at that. “You didn’t tell her about…?” he huffed, looking away in embarrassment. “Alfred, that’s private. I know that she’d probably notice something was wrong anyway, and I know she’s your mother but… this is embarrassing for me.”

Alfred rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say anything about the cocaine. I just said that you were hospitalised. She wanted to know why I came to New York in the first place again and dropped my job. I didn't say anything else other than you were sick in the hospital."

He sighed.

"This is something that should just be between the both of us and I understand that."

Arthur tensed, immediately feeling awkward and regretting his reaction.

“Sorry,” he turned his body to face Alfred. “I jumped to conclusions,” he hesitated but leaned across to Alfred and kissed his cheek quickly. He gave a tentative smile and hoped that, that would be enough to cross that bridge. His gaze flickered to the window.

“What would you like for your birthday?” he asked softly. He’d already had something planned for Alfred’s birthday present but the major part of his plan wouldn’t be possible now, considering that Alfred had come back to New York.

Alfred hummed a bit to himself and he just smiled at that, glad to have the kiss to his cheek. He was more than happy to kiss him back on the cheek.

"It's fine. Honestly. I don't blame you for jumping to conclusions." He laughed a bit but soon he followed Arthur's gaze to the window.

"My birthday?" He asked softly, seeming to wonder about it.

"...I honestly don't know. My birthday was the last of my concerns to be honest and I don't think I really want anything in specific. I'm just happy to be with you again."

“Poppycock,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “You and I both know that your birthday is one of your favourite times of the year because you get to have loads of fireworks and everyone is partying and it seems like they’re all celebrating your birthday. Now, my dear, what would you like for your birthday?” he smirked crookedly at his partner.

“Would you like to go out for a meal? Or go to Central Park…? Long Island?”

Alfred laughed at that and he shrugged.

"Of course it is. The 4th of July is one of the most fucking awesome things out there." He grinned at Arthur before stretching out a bit.

"Well maybe we can have a picnic out at Central Park? It sounds like a whole lot of fun and there will be a lot of celebrations around as well."

Arthur nodded slowly. “Alright, well, I’m sure that your mum would appreciate that too… I’ll try and keep myself under control over the next few days, I promise.”

He watched Alfred stretch out and silently admired the way his muscles flexed beneath his skin. Arthur really didn’t feel as though he deserved someone as wonderful as Alfred.

Alfred just laughed a bit at that and he nodded as well.

"Thanks, Arthur...I really appreciate it. It means a whole lot to me."

He soon felt Arthur's stare on him and he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in amusement, a smile spreading across his lips at the same time.

"Like what you're seeing right now? You seem a bit distracted with something here." He motioned to himself, trying to make the atmosphere lighter now that they were actually able to talk.

They both needed to lift the weight of the situation off.

Arthur didn’t really feel as though Alfred should be thanking him though he chose not to mention it, because he knew Alfred would most likely disagree with what he would say. He slowly tore his gaze away from Alfred’s body to his face; his expression brightened in amusement.

“Maybe,” he sat more comfortably on the sofa, one foot on the sofa as he reclined back towards Alfred. “Though perhaps it’s your ego that’s distracting?” he teased.

Alfred was just glad to see Arthur's expression brighten and that was all he needed to motivate himself.

"Nah, I think it's my body. Maybe a mixture of my body and my ego." He winked up at him, leaning over so he could lean against his fiancé.

"Doesn't change the fact that you were staring rather intently."

Arthur shrugged flippantly.

“You’re not unpleasant to look at, what can I say?” he tried to contain the mirth in his voice and leant against Alfred as the other did in turn, happy to be that little bit closer to him. He reached out and smoothed his hand across Alfred’s bare skin, pleased by the softness he found. “And you’re very soft.”